Friday, September 6, 2013

"I Am The Very Model Of A General Semanticist"

I've been going through the remains of the IGS archives in my possession and found some files from of my friend and mentor, the late Kenneth G. Johnson, a long-time and important korzybskian GS scholar. One of the things I found was this  song parody of the Gilbert and Sullivan classic, "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General". It looks like it may have been written by Ken. Or (because of the female voice, used) one of his students. His name wasn't on the typed page with the parody. However Ken definitely did write  humorous poetry, some of which I'll present here in a future blogpost. This parody very much has his signature humor. Enjoy!:

I Am The Very Model of A General Semanticist
"I am the very model of a general semanticist
My feet are firmly planted, I'm no longer a romanticist.
I'm very well informed about psychoses and neuroses, 
But I'm losing all my friends since I acquired halitosis. 
I'm very good at recognizing everyone's hostility
And I can point a finger at their lack of objectivity. 
At picking out projections I am certainly without a peer 
I think it's such a shame that all my friends won't stick around to hear. 

"I am the very model of a general semanticist.
I utilize its principles in bringing up my hordes of kids. 
I've thrown away my Doctor Spock and substituted Summerhill,
I gratify their every need instead of giving them a pill.
I haven't found a school around to use their creativity,
They won't admit a child who isn't toilet trained at puberty. 
They're well-adjusted, self-expressive, uninhibited and free,
I wish to hell that I could find a mother-substitute for me. 

"I am the very model of a general semanticist.
I'm well enough to do away with three of my psychiatrists. 
I know the very latest in extensional devices
And I've traded all my virtues for a gorgeous lot of vices.
My husband is much delighted with my growth in self-development
My intellectual progress is the cause of some resentment.
However, I have found a way to cope with his hostility, 
And find it has a very good effect on his virility.

"I am the very model of a general semanticist 
In every way at work and play I have become an optimist
In matters economical, political I'm vehement
I am the very model of a general semanticist."

1 comment:

Jolly Curmudgeon said...

Maybe Mrs. Johnson wrote it. Gender specific. Hope Bal Simon sees this and he does like G&S.