Chapter 10 - Oh! Petawawa: Part 5 - Incident at a Train Station

Korzybski: A Biography (Free Online Edition)

Copyright © 2014 (2011) by Bruce I. Kodish 

All rights reserved. Copyright material may be quoted verbatim without need for permission from or payment to the copyright holder, provided that attribution is clearly given and that the material quoted is reasonably brief in extent.

By January 1917, the ‘prophecy’ Korzybski had engraved on the ash tray seemed as fanciful as fairy-dust. The war, in its third year, seemed to have no end in sight. Both fronts in Europe saw little overall movement of the entrenched sides.(12) Inside Russia there were lines for bread and signs of open revolt. Devastated Poland now had German overlords. The grim situation did nothing to change Alfred’s conviction that he had chosen the right side to fight for. It had become clear—even for Poles who had fought on the German or  Austrian side—a victory for the Central Powers would mean the end of any hope for Polish independence.

The Russian Imperial Artillery Commission completed its work at Petawawa in the first week of February. Alfred never knew exactly why. Probably, the contract with Canadian Car and Foundry had ended. At any rate, he no longer had a job at the proving ground. The Artillery Commission retained him a bit longer in order to supervise the packing and loading of the field guns and remaining ammunition onto railway cars. After he shipped them out of Petawawa, he packed up his own belongings and went to Ottawa, where he was staying with a friend. He had sent the ammunition—including high explosive shells and gun powder—to the Eddystone Ammunition Company in Pennsylvania. The Russian guns, loaded in two open cars, went to Ogdensberg, New York, where Alfred met them and arranged for the next step of their transport to Weehauken, New Jersey, for transfer to the Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland. By the end of the month, he had handed over the guns to the representative from Aberdeen, and returned to Ottawa.

He no longer worked for the Russian Artillery Commission. Over the previous year he had written letters trying to find the location of the Body Guard Heavy Artillery, still holding some possibility of joining them. But he heard nothing. He didn’t know what he would do next.

During this period, an incident happened one night at the Ottawa train station. Korzybski, probably on his way to Ogdensberg to deal with the Russian guns, happened to meet two Canadian officers, Lieutenant Consitt and Captain Bothwell, whom he knew from Petawawa. They were in the company of a Captain Maloney, whom they introduced to Korzybski. What happened is not exactly clear but the following day, Korzybski sent a letter to Lieutenant Consitt.:

Dear Sir, 

Wednesday 14th February at 11-45 pm. at the central station in Ottawa I made through you and Captain Bothwell the acquaintance of an officer whose name I do not remember. The conduct of the said officer toward me was perfectly insolent, as you are the witness. Not  wishing to make trouble in a public place, I kept still for the few minutes to the train, but was decided to ask satisfaction. Therefore I invite very kindly you and Capt. Bothwell to be my seconds, this is friends, and challenge the said officer in my name to fight a duel. I accept all conditions fixed by you and Capt. B. Sword or pistol are without difference to me, for pistol I suggest 10-15 yards. Believing Sir, that my invitation you will honor me by accepting my invitation, I remain very truly yours. Formerly of the Imperial Body Guard Heavy Artillery, now officer of R. I. Art. Com. In N. Am. 15 February 1917. (13)

"The Code Of Honor--A Duel In The Bois De Boulogne, Near Paris"
(1874 (published 9 January 1875)
By G. Durand [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons 

They all wanted to avoid a duel and Maloney wrote a letter of apology. Alfred wrote back as soon as he received it, “Dear Friend. …I am glad to learn that you did not intentionally hurt my feelings. Therefore I am pleased to accept your apology and also hope to meet you again under more favorable circumstances. …”(14) Later in life, he sometimes received petty, unwarranted, even insulting criticism—which he sometimes responded to. However, after this episode, as far as I know, he never challenged anyone to a duel again.

Notes 

You may download a pdf of all of the book's reference notes (including a note on primary source material and abbreviations used) from the link labeled Notes on the Contents page. The pdf of the Bibliography, linked on the Contents page contains full information on referenced books and articles. 

12. On the Eastern Front, a Russian offensive the previous March at Lake Narotch in Lithuania had failed miserably at the cost of huge casualties. In the summer of 1916, around the time of Alfred’s party, General Brusilov had masterfully managed a Russian offensive in Galicia , where his forces made a significant breakthrough into Austrian territory. However, with tremendous losses on both sides and severe shortages of supplies, Brusilov couldn’t sustain the campaign. 

13. AK to Lt. Consitt, 2/15/17. AKDA 32.19. 

14. AK to Capt. Maloney, 2/22/1917. AKDA 32.15.

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Chapter 10 - Oh! Petawawa: Part 4 - Gossips, Bugs, and Skunks

Korzybski: A Biography (Free Online Edition)

Copyright © 2014 (2011) by Bruce I. Kodish 

All rights reserved. Copyright material may be quoted verbatim without need for permission from or payment to the copyright holder, provided that attribution is clearly given and that the material quoted is reasonably brief in extent. 

Alfred had become aware that some people at the Petawawa Camp considered him in an unfavorable light as an arrogant attention-seeker. He seemed so familiar with the Duke and his daughter, he had so many responsibilities not fitting his job description, he kept so much to himself, etc., etc., etc. The negative opinion about him might be summarized in the statement “Who the hell does that Korzybski think he is?” Alfred did not let it bother him. He knew that he skirted trouble and misunderstanding because of his independent attitude and direct manner. He wasn’t going to change just because people might misunderstand his actions and words and then gossip about him or believe other people’s gossip.

For example, he felt he had very little in common with most of the Russians, who spent their off-hours drinking. At the camp—when he wasn’t working or studying on his own—he tended to socialize with the Canadian and British officers stationed there. (Goodima had his wife and children with him and spent his time at home with them.) When the Canadian officers invited him to join their mess hall, he felt glad to stop eating with the Russians. He liked the food at the Canadian officers' mess better and it didn't cost as much. And he had a chance to practice his English with people he felt he had more in common with than the Russians. He had no interest in insulting anyone. However, not eating with the Russians could easily be viewed by some Russians as an insult. He did not feel inclined to expend much energy trying to correct such impressions:

In my country, gentlemen speak the truth, do not compromise with themselves, and are simple about it, of course this was misinterpreted, they laughed maybe, I smiled because I understood quite well their misinterpretations, which doubtless added to their irritation, but after all of what importance was it?…what through the narrow, petty and often ignorant lenses of bureaucracy was considered “pose” or “bluff” is known today, as it was before the war as simplicity, frankness, straightforwardness. I hate “diplomacy” which I refuse to emulate, I did so always, and will continue to do. To my mind simplicity and straightforwardness is the biggest luxury a gentleman can indulge in, and so I remain the same. (8)

Besides the gossips, other minor annoyances of life at Petawawa included the bugs and skunks. Korzybski had run-ins with both. Other than the multitudes of mosquitoes, the camp—at the edge of a wilderness area—had many different kinds of insects he had never seen before. Many of them bit. He found them quite bothersome, especially at night on the gun range. Alfred tried repellents that didn’t work. So when shooting, he often wore gloves and used a veil under his cap to reduce the bites to his hands and face.

As for the run-ins with skunks, many of these actually consisted of run-overs at night when, once they had finished shooting, Alfred would drive to the target area five miles  away with a few of his men. In the dark, his car would typically hit a few skunks along the way. He wasn’t happy about hitting them. As he said “They can certainly mess up the air all right.” He once came back to his cabin and found a skunk wandering around inside. He just waited until it left. “You don’t argue with a skunk.”

"You don't argue with a skunk."

The bugs, skunks, and other disagreeable aspects of camp life became the subject of the dark humor of Alfred and his friends. One, James A. Robinson, wrote “The Popular Song of Petawawa” which they sang to commiserate among themselves. Korzybski, still learning how to spell in English, dutifully recorded the lyrics for posterity:

Oh! Petawawa Oh! Petawawa Oh! Petawawa
Down where the Ottawa flowes.
We will never go there anymore anymore,
We will never go there anymore anymore,

We will never go there anymore anymore,
Down where the Ottawa flowes.

There are skunks in the gras overthere overthere,
There are skunks in the gras overthere overthere,
There are skunks in the gras they piss from their ass

Down where the Ottawa flowes
Oh! Petawawa * * * * We wont go there

There is magets in the cheese overthere overthere,
There is magets in the cheese overthere overthere,
There is magets in the cheese you can hear the beggar snees
There is magets in the cheese overthere.
Oh! Petawawa Oh! Petawawa * * * We will never go there.

There are bugs on the wall overthere overthere,
There are bugs on the wall overthere overthere,
There are bugs on the wall you can see the beggar crawl
There are bugs on the wall overthere.
Oh! Petawawa *************We will never go there.

There lots of skunks overthere overthere,
There is lots skunks overthere overthere,
If you anywhere near they’ll piss in your ear
There is lots of skunks overthere.
Oh! Petawawa *********** We’ll never go there. (9)

By the end of July 1916, Korzybski had been at Petawawa for more than half a year. He felt gratitude for the kindness of the Canadian officers he had met. Wanting to express his thanks, he decided to throw a grand party for the officers and their ladies aboard the river boat steamer, the “Oiseau”. He arranged an elaborate multi-course banquet on board, with a variety of wines for the 40 or 50 couples whom he invited as guests (the Russians whom he had invited seemed too shy to attend). They dined while cruising up the river and back to Petawawa in the course of several evening hours. The guests seemed especially charmed by Korzybski’s personal performance. In the szlachta tradition of hosting—which dictated “Gosc w dom, Bog v dom” (“Guest in the house, God in the house”)—he moved among his guest, filling glasses, supervising the staff of military waiters from the base, and leading a series of toasts to the King, the Tsar, the Allies and to the health of the war injured. After the ices and fruits and before the coffee, liqueurs, and cheese, Korzybski also made a toast to his guests and to Canada. By this time they had returned to dock at Petawawa once more and danced until after midnight to the orchestra Korzybski had assembled. 

Alfred may have considered the bill the most exciting part of the event. Renting the steamer cost him only $40 (he had expected to pay 3 or 4 times as much). He paid only around $100 for the food and drink, and nothing for the cooks, the waiters, or the orchestra. He didn’t ask questions.(10)  People talked about the evening for months afterwards. A local newspaper account of the evening noted:
Every lady carried away a beautiful Nippon dish as a souvenir of the trip. The gentlemen each received, as a remembrance, an ash tray cut from a shrapnel shell, and engraved, prophetically “World War, 1914-1917.”(11)

Notes 

You may download a pdf of all of the book's reference notes (including a note on primary source material and abbreviations used) from the link labeled Notes on the Contents page. The pdf of the Bibliography, linked on the Contents page contains full information on referenced books and articles. 

7. Alfred Korzybski Scrapbook. AKDA 3.324. 

8. Korzybski to V. Molodoy, Unsent letter, 12/16/1924. AKDA 15.733. 

9. “The Popular Song of Petawawa”. AKDA 32.3. 

10. Korzybski 1947, p. 262. 

11. “An enjoyable private dinner was given on board the Steamer “Oiseau” on the evening of July 28th...” Unknown newspaper. n.d. AKDA 32.13. 

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Chapter 10 - Oh! Petawawa: Part 3 - Junior Inspector

Korzybski: A Biography (Free Online Edition)

Copyright © 2014 (2011) by Bruce I. Kodish 

All rights reserved. Copyright material may be quoted verbatim without need for permission from or payment to the copyright holder, provided that attribution is clearly given and that the material quoted is reasonably brief in extent.

Korzybski also had to get quickly up to speed in his knowledge of artillery. When he wasn’t studying English, he spent much of the rest of his spare time reading artillery textbooks. The senior inspectors in the Russian Artillery Commission at Petawawa, Colonel Sachanow and Captain Goodima, were seasoned artillery men but in the main did not deal directly with the field guns. Although Korzybski had the title of junior inspector, his  responsibility was not inspecting the ammunition. Rather, his civilian job consisted of test-firing and maintaining the field guns, and seemed more military than not. Basically, he functioned as an artillery lieutenant and when at work he found it most convenient to wear one of his old uniforms.

His bosses would give him samples to test. These might include shells (empty shells, loaded high explosive shells, and shrapnel shells) or shell components (primers, brass casings, timed fuses for shrapnel, etc.). Korzybski supervised the test-firing and acted as range observer. When the gunner was sick, he would take his place and operate the gun, which could hit a target several miles away. Afterwards he would report the results to Sachanow and Goodima, who had chosen the test samples and were responsible for analyzing the results, passing or rejecting lots of ammunition, corresponding with the manufacturer, etc.

In order to deal with such correspondence, Sachanow and Goodima had a small office staff of immigrant clerks who would take their dictation in Russian and write the necessary letters in English. But Sachanow and Goodima soon found they needed someone with more linguistic and technical knowledge than what the clerks could offer. So Korzybski soon had additional work acting as their liaison with the Canadian Car and Foundry Company and with Colonel Mackie, the Officer in Charge at Petawawa Camp. 

If either Korzybski, Sachonow, or Goodima had wanted to do a little ‘business on the side’ they certainly had the opportunity even at Petawawa. The company could lose tens of thousands of dollars if dishonest inspectors rejected a carload of good ammunition. As grafters, the three men could easily have squeezed one or two thousand dollars out of the company in this way. But none of them had any inclination to do so. Canadian Car and Foundry behaved honestly as well, although Korzybski considered their prices high. For example, they might charge three times the production cost for a shrapnel fuse. Nonetheless, they had a low rejection rate for their products. They clearly were on the up and up and showed no interest in bribing the Russians to pass faulty ammunition. Indeed they seemed quite interested in cooperating with Sachanow and Goodima who would present Korzybski with advice in Russian on technical problems which Korzybski would then communicate in English or French to company representatives, engineers, etc., who seemed eager to improve their products. With Sachanow spending more and more of his time drinking and Goodima allowing Alfred a certain degree of independence, Alfred was using his abilities with language and troubleshooting once more.

As in his previous position as a “translator” in which he did intelligence work, Alfred’s title at Petawawa didn't accurately represent what he did there. Though officially a civilian  inspector, he inspected no ammunition. He spent his working time in a military role on the firing range supervising soldiers operating and maintaining field guns. And in the office, acting as a go-between, the ‘junior’ inspector was taking on responsibilities of the senior inspectors (with their permission).

Korzybski’s bosses depended on him for some of their informal obligations as well. Because of his language facility and his noble bearing, they designated him the “host” when visitors such as foreign military officers came to see the Russian operation. The practice in military circles of the time involved a ritual, with the host and guests trying to drink each other under the table. Korzybski had orders to be a good host and go along. Though not a non-drinker, he cheated:

I had a special bottle of whiskey which was just plain tea and my man, or orderly if you wish, was keeping my particular tea bottle, means whiskey bottle, filled with tea separately so I would not be caught red-handed… I had to be on my feet and personally I don’t like that kind of hell drinking.(5)

There were also a number of international military meetings, during which the French, British and Russians demonstrated their artillery. Although as a civilian it was not Korzybski’s role to do so, Sachanow and Goodima had him demonstrate the Russian guns wearing his old “private with a string” uniform. One day Korzybski was informed that the Duke of Connaught, one of Queen Victoria’s sons and the Governor General of Canada, would be coming within a few days to tour Petawawa with his daughter Patricia. Korzybski was ordered to take care of a royal parade and demonstration for the Duke at the proving ground. “My god. What did I know about that [?] Nothing. No instructions. Just orders to do it. So I had to take care of my side which means the troops, guns, shooting , etc.”(6) Alfred was certainly not overawed at the prospect of seeing the Duke. As a Count, he had been around nobility all of his life and he had encountered royalty. Besides, he had already met the Duke and his daughter on one of his visits to Ottawa and had seen and become friendly with them on subsequent visits. The royal parade came off well and they were ready for the artillery demonstration. Korzybski had been flirting with Patricia and did not notice a photographer who had placed himself directly in front of the muzzle of the field gun. Luckily, before giving the order to fire, Korzybski turned his eyes from the young woman long enough to see the man and get him out of the way. The Duke appeared impressed with Korzybski’s efforts and sent him copies of the photographs and an invitation to a garden party in Ottawa.

Artillery demonstration for Duke of Connaught, 1916
(Korzybski seen toward left, behind wheel of field gun)  

Notes 

You may download a pdf of all of the book's reference notes (including a note on primary source material and abbreviations used) from the link labeled Notes on the Contents page. The pdf of the Bibliography, linked on the Contents page contains full information on referenced books and articles. 

5. Ibid., p. 163. 

6. Ibid., p.165. 

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Chapter 10 - Oh! Petawawa: Part 2 - Where One Hears the Noise of the Water

Korzybski: A Biography (Free Online Edition)

Copyright © 2014 (2011) by Bruce I. Kodish 

All rights reserved. Copyright material may be quoted verbatim without need for permission from or payment to the copyright holder, provided that attribution is clearly given and that the material quoted is reasonably brief in extent.


The Canadian Army base and proving ground was adjacent to the tiny village of Petawawa. A few miles southeast on the Ottawa River was the slightly larger village of Pembroke, which contained nothing much of interest to Alfred—just a few stores, a movie house, and a church. The Canadian capital of Ottawa was a two-hour trip further east, with Montreal only a few hours further by train. The proving ground stood on the edge of the white pine forests of the Algonquin Provincial Park. The name “Petawawa” came from the Algonquin Indian word for “where one hears the noise of the water”.(3) By the time Alfred arrived there—on December 30, 1915—he more likely heard the noise of artillery fire. 

Alfred had been exiled there because he didn’t want to take any part in graft. He had the official title of "Junior Inspector of the Commission for the Acceptance of the Orders of the [Russian] Imperial Artillery Department in North America”. He knew almost nothing about artillery, except what it felt like to be on the receiving end. Yet he was expected to be in charge of a battery of Russian Q.F. (Quick Firing) three-inch field guns used to test shells the Canada Car and Foundry Company had begun to manufacture for the Russian government. He spoke little or no English but was expected to work with British “Tommies” and Canadian soldiers on the base. In spite of these obstacles, his exile felt heavenly to him.

1918 Camp Petawawa ON Entrance | by R Orville Lyttle

His nerves needed a rest. On the Eastern Front, he had begun to suspect his superiors in Second Army Headquarters Intelligence of using him as a subject for an efficiency study on how to work under the constant threat of death. He had gotten used  to the continuous noise of shooting at the front and had only recently begun to sleep soundly without the sound of artillery bombardment, having realized this indicated greater—not less—safety. Over the last year and a half, he had developed the habit of sleeping with his arms folded over his chest to protect precious papers he carried. Now he still found himself waking up clutching his chest with both arms, a habit he no longer needed and worked to break.

Yes, Petawawa seemed in many ways like bliss. He had a Ford car and a comfortable furnished and heated cabin provided by the Canadian Car and Foundry Company. He had a decent salary and minimal expenses. He had only three or four hours of work per day—or at night when testing shrapnel—firing and maintaining the field guns with a crew made up of British Tommies. Otherwise, his time was his own. Any lag in getting a shipment of artillery from the manufacturer would give him a few days free, which he used to visit Ottawa or Montreal. He made such trips as often as he could.

One of Alfred's first main tasks was to learn decent English. He needed it for his work and, as a multi-lingual person, he also knew learning the language of a place provided the key to feeling at home there. He got his first few words of English from the Tommies who worked on his gun crew: “Yes”, “No”, and “God Damn!”(4) They soon helped him learn even more ‘colorful’ terms. He also studied English on his own. He had known and loved Shakespeare and Byron in translation. He now began to read the originals with an English grammar in hand. But he realized he could use still more help. For one thing, he knew he had lousy pronunciation. He needed a tutor. A Canadian customs official named Gilchrest lived at the camp. A military man, Gilchrest’s health had deteriorated from overwork and he had been sent to Petawawa by kindhearted superiors in order to get a good rest. His perfunctory job of signing off on train deliveries of ammunition to the Russians took him about an hour a day—if there was a delivery. Soon enough, he began to feel lonely and bored. Both he and Korzybski found a mutual solution to their problems. Gilchrest studied French with Alfred, while Alfred worked on his English with Gilchrest. Soon Korzybski was speaking fluent Canadian-British English with the Polish accent he never lost. In later years, his U.S.-born wife helped him, and he made an effort to Americanize his English as much as he could.

Notes 

You may download a pdf of all of the book's reference notes (including a note on primary source material and abbreviations used) from the link labeled Notes on the Contents page. The pdf of the Bibliography, linked on the Contents page contains full information on referenced books and articles. 

3. http://www.town.petawawa.on.ca/history/index.asp 

4. Korzybski 1947, p. 472.

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Chapter 10 - Oh! Petawawa: Part 1 - Introduction

Korzybski: A Biography (Free Online Edition)

Copyright © 2014 (2011) by Bruce I. Kodish 

All rights reserved. Copyright material may be quoted verbatim without need for permission from or payment to the copyright holder, provided that attribution is clearly given and that the material quoted is reasonably brief in extent.

Korzybski and about 200 Russian technicians left Petrograd in mid-November, 1915. The boat trip to Stockholm took several days. Then after a couple days layover, they continued on to Bergen, Norway. The last week of November they sailed to New York aboard the Norwegian S/S Kristianiafjord. That spring German U-Boats had sunk the Lusitania, a British passenger ship, with a loss of nearly 1200 passengers, about 10% of them Americans. With the resulting hue and cry in America, the Germans had ceased their unrestricted attacks on shipping. They did not want to risk pushing the United States into the war. So there seemed like little danger to Alfred’s journey, especially as his mission was aboard the ship of a neutral country.

Korzybski just felt glad to be out of Petrograd. As a civilian “inspector”, he would be doing quality control work on ammunition manufactured somewhere in North America for the Russian army. Despite his frustrations with the Russians, he still wanted to usefully contribute to the defeat of the Central Powers. To keep his possibilities open, he brought with him a press pass he obtained in Petrograd from the North-South Press Agency, a French language news bureau. Just in case the ammunition inspection job didn’t work out. (1)

Unfortunately, about half of the technicians on the ship seemed to have profiteering as their main motive. Their slogan would have been ‘praise the cash and pass bad ammunition’. Alfred made friends with two other men, Colonel Kolantaiew and Colonel Sachanow, who had been at the front and disdained the petty grafters on board as much as he did. The three men stayed together and talked among themselves about the war, the shortage of shells and other essential items, and the mentality of their fellow passengers. They were not very discreet. Apparently someone listened in on their conversations and the three men came to be considered ‘dangerous’.

The passage to New York took about a week. After docking in the first week of December they reported to the Russian Military Commission in New York. They figured the grafters had transmitted news about them to friends at headquarters because they found themselves sent to what seemed like the least desirable locations in North America—places providing minimal opportunities and/or rewards for profiteering. Alfred and Colonel Kolantaiew were sent to the Remington arms factory in Bridgeport, Connecticut. Colonel Sachanow was sent to Petawawa Camp, a military proving ground located where the Petawawa River, a small tributary, empties into the Ottawa River in southern Ontario. Neither Korzybski nor Kolantiew lasted long at Remington (perhaps because the plant was run efficiently and there wasn't much for them to do there even if they weren’t interested in graft). Kolantiew soon went back to Europe. After only a few days in Bridgeport, Korzybski was sent on to Petawawa “where”, as he put it, “Sachanow was already exiled amongst the skunks…and bears.”(2)

Notes 

You may download a pdf of all of the book's reference notes (including a note on primary source material and abbreviations used) from the link labeled Notes on the Contents page. The pdf of the Bibliography, linked on the Contents page contains full information on referenced books and articles. 
1. Press pass for representing L’Agence De Presse Nord-Sud in America, issued in Petrograd. AKDA 5.29.

2. Korzybski 1947, p. 155. 

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